Beth Meadows

Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I've got one thing I got to do

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It's that time again, time for a rambling list post. I've had a lot on my mind these days but can't seem to find the time to sort it all out. I'm a big List Maker, so it will be good to start there with these thoughts. The question is, what will happen after that? I'm also a big List Loser, meaning I make lists and lose them or never look at them again, which in turn makes me a loser as I don't get much done. Anyway, here goes.

1. I need to write out a business plan or something of the sort for With Bear Hands/my studio practice. My friend Robert sent me this link and this link to help me with such a task, but it's not going to happen unless I make time for it. It's too pretty outside for this sort of thing.

2. I've been working harder these days, but not long enough, and without much focus or intention. Part of the reason for the business plan writing is to figure out what I need to accomplish in a day, a week, a month. What should each day look like? How many hours should I devote to making art or to sitting on my computer? I probably need to accept the fact that I should be working a couple of nights a week for a while. But I've been distracted. By what?
  • It's pretty outside and the air is perfection. I want to ride my bike everywhere. I want to grab a drink downtown after work everyday, I want to go on walks and read books in the sun. Before it's too late. Before I'm cursing the sun and summertime sweat fest begins.
  • The Hunger Games- I actually left my studio early the other day to finish the first book. It's my first try at a trendy book series. I thought I'd be above it, but no. Nope. Liked it. Liked it a lot.
  • A boy- Spending time with another human being on a level loftier than friendship is one of my most favorite pastimes (who wouldn't agree?). At the same time, it's one of my biggest fears because, for whatever reason, I have the tendency to let this activity turn me into a cat. I become a poster child for leisure, casting all my responsibilities to the wind. My productivity is replaced with gazing into that person's eyes. It's sooo romantic. It's also unsustainable. Got to find the balance.
3. How do I get my redneck neighbors to quit revving their engines at 6:45am every morning? I lie in bed and imagine launching smooth white eggs from my window...

4. The Salvage Show is coming up- April 6. It is going to be in an unfinished building on Market Square. At the moment the space doesn't have functioning lights, so I have this stress looming over me. I have to figure out a solution quickly. 

19 artists and designers, work made from architectural salvage. Please, please come.

5. My piece for show is one made from salvaged wood. I've been sanding  pieces of wainscoting that have paint on them. I wonder how you know if you have lead poisoning? I wonder how many years I've taken off my life?

No more sanding lead paint after this project. It's riddling me with fear.

6. I've begun listing these prints on my Etsy shop. Won't you consider buying one?

7. So this is weird to talk about, but I've been on a little dieting/ exercise kick for the past few months. I guess it's not so much a kick as a necessary lifestyle change, but I hardly know myself anymore. I am a counter of calories because the simple truth I have learned is that losing weight is merely an ongoing math problem.

I shed some pounds doing yoga and going swimming at the YWCA during the winter months, but unfortunately, now that it's warmer, I've been far lazier and the shedding has stopped as my muscles become weak and sad. I want to be outside but I don't want to be doing much while I'm there.

It's been a battle, especially as I realize a couple of beers every now and then means starving myself during part of the day. I'm not saying this is good to do, but I'm just saying I'm working on a mental transformation, on discipline, and I don't know myself anymore.

8. The blog- should it be personal? Should it be solely about art? Do I give it more attention? Do I let it remain what it is? Any thoughts? I don't know half the time.