Beth Meadows

Time to breathe

"art", "deep thoughts", "friends", "knox heritage", "men", "simple", "thankful"BComment
I worked a lot last week for Knox Heritage (my part time job), as we had our biggest fundraising event of the year on Saturday night. I'm thankful it's over, and even more thankful I get to take time off this week for working so much last week.

I'm either going to be extremely productive in the realm of art and salvage with all this free time, or I'm going to lie on my couch a lot. (I spent this morning watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.) Hopefully I will find a good balance of both.

I'd also like to swim a lot this week. I've been going to the YWCA for the past month or so. It's in the basement of a beautiful old building (see photo below) and membership is only $40 a year. It's my new favorite way to decompress and exercise. My only complaint is that when I'm the only one there, I'm self-conscious about swimming in front of the life guard, who stares at me as I go back and forth. It's something I'm getting used to.



***

Money has been hard to come by these days, but the past couple of weeks, I've been selling more mason jar paintings, via Yee-Haw, my etsy shop, the Farmers' Market, an art show...






















I was going to stop at 100, but if I'm not tired of making them, I'd like to keep going. They're a good side project- fun, simple, and as my hands make them more easily as time goes on, I like them more and more. I think I'll know when to stop when the time comes.

***

Money looks different when you are (pseudo) self-employed, trying to "make it." When I sell artwork or salvage now, I'm so grateful. It's amazing not to have any clue if money will come, and then see it come- difficult, but thrilling.

***

I'm thinking about this fundraiser we had on Saturday. It was a big event. I was nervous and overwhelmed, but thankful to have a role in making it come together. All of our staff had to work so hard.

It can be tricky to put on a big event for so many people. Some made my evening extremely difficult, but then some, the ones with golden souls, would make me stop and look them in the eyes and they would say, "Thank you so much for all the work you've done," and it made up for the shortcomings of their less empathetic peers.

***

When I am extremely wealthy, you have right to slap me across the face if I'm rude to someone in the service industry, non-profit realm, anyone. Money or no money, we can all act entitled to certain things from time to time. It's easy, especially in hectic situations, to forget to breathe and be kind. I'm just as bad as the next person.

I realized Saturday night though, that when you feel like you're getting the crap kicked out of you by an impatient person, to take a deep breath and say, "I want to help you. Please help me understand what you need, and I'll do my best to help." Most people just want someone to listen to them, and when they realize you are, you can see their muscles loosen and their brow unfurrow; it's like magic. Unfortunately, this doesn't work with everyone.

***

I put three mason jar paintings in the auction that night, and the winning bidder hugged me when she found out I made them. Granted, she may have had a lot of wine that night, I don't know, but it was genuine, and she helped settle my nerves that had been wound so tight.

***

I've been hanging out with an old friend lately. After years of not seeing one another, it's strange to be spending time together again and surprising to both of us how much we enjoy one another. We go on bike rides at night and it makes me feel like I'm in college again, which is a feeling I always like, especially now that fall is here.



***

Life is not like the movies where relationships are mended overnight or even in a month. People change slowly, and sometimes it takes years to have what you wanted all along or to let go of things that don't matter that much. At least that has been true in my life.

***

Tomorrow I'm going to write about some art.