Beth Meadows

Why the internet makes my life lame

"blog", "deep thoughts"BComment
I don't have the internet at my apartment anymore. My neighbor let me borrow it all year, and he moved, so no more streaming television, no more wasting time on Facebook, and less ability to blog. I consider all these good things.

My home has been tidier and I've taken care of little projects that have been looming over my head for months. Confession: My bathroom lighting is really poor. Why? There is a fixture that I've never put a light bulb in. Last night I finally put one in. It took me eleven months. I don't know if, for a fact, this was taken care of because I now don't have the internet, but I'm going to connect the two. (By the way, when I say internet, I mostly mean Facebook)

It's really not that I'm lazy, but I will be the first to admit I am easily distracted. One of the things that distracts me the most is any type of screen- TVs, computers. I wrote about this before, that I don't have cable, etc. because I am cheap, but there's another reason. It's too easy for me to spend all my time in front of a TV or computer, and when it comes to doing a load of laundry that's been sitting there for weeks or watching the Modern Family, Modern Family will win every time. As a result, I will laugh for 30 minutes watching TV, but the pile of laundry will eat away at my soul day after day. It's not worth it.

For me, the internet is wonderful and alluring but so dangerous at the same time. It is to me what liquor is to an alcoholic, and in all its goodness, it has added much pathetic-ness to my life.

Would you like a glimpse into my pathetic-ness? Well, sometimes when I am out with people, having a good time, and the night is coming to an end, I have this little tugging desire to go home and check Facebook. Lame!

I don't have to explain why this is bothersome, but what is worse is that more times than not, all I end up doing is scrolling through pictures of people that make me feel unnecessary emotions- loneliness, dissatisfaction, jealousy...

I am reminded that underneath everyone's (/ my own) photos, status updates, and witty banter, there is a real, awkward, struggling, wonderful person underneath, and I'm too lazy and intimidated to call them.

The moral of this story is, I think I'll keep my apartment internet free, at least for now. A cleaner home, one where I take care of things, is more important than being "connected" all of the time. I'd like to be more present with people and quit wondering how many notifications I've racked up while I've been away from my computer. Again, lame!

Besides, I have internet at work and in my studio so I can get all of my stalking done during those hours anyway.

"So what does this mean for your blog?!" you worriedly ask.  It means I may not post every week. It also means the first draft of these expanded thoughts will most likely be hand written, then typed into Text Edit, and then copied and pasted here, which is cool because it will be closer to how I first began writing and just might make my writing better. But don't hold your breath.