The story of the "vicious" sheep dog whom* I love
There is a sheep dog that lives across the street from me. I've never seen him off his leash that's looped around a post on his backporch. He used to be attached to the front porch, but I figure the owners got tired of people calling animal control so they moved their prisoner to a more convenient location for them.

His hair is matted and dirty, and he can't see because his hair covers his eyes. He's weathered the coldest frosts and the most smoldering summer days.



On several different occasions, I've found myself standing in my apartment parking lot, twenty yards between the dog and me, tears in my eyes, whispering "I'm so sorry." I've also found myself standing in my parking lot, scowling at the owners as they get out of their car and pass their dog who loves them dearly without touching him. They shut their front door on his wagging tail, he stands at the door for a second, then hopelessly lies back down.

There's an alley that runs behind the owners' back yard that I use when I'm walking or biking to work or downtown. Usually the dog is asleep on the backporch, and if he's awake, he typically doesn't see me because of the hair covering his eyes. When he does see me, he barks viciously, and every now and then, he jumps off the porch, bounds up the hill leading up to the alley, and lunges at me furiously. His leash catches him just before he reaches me, but I'm always worried it will break, and he'll attack me- the one who actually loves him.

One time I fed him half of a steak. He didn't bark at me then, but that fond memory faded quickly from his animal brain. 

This morning, I walked to work in the sunshine. When 5:00 rolled around, the sky opened up and sent forth a torrential thunderstorm. I stayed at work waiting for it to die down with a couple of co-workers. When it finally let up, my boss asked if I wanted a ride home.

"No, thank you," I said. "I'm going to steal this umbrella that's been sitting in our lobby forever and walk." When was the last time I purposefully walked in the rain? I thought.

I made my way home under what I learned was an umbrella in shambles, cut through the yard of an abandoned house to the alley. The rain began to pick up as I neared my neighbors' backyard.

I noticed that the sheep dog wasn't on the porch. Then I noticed his leash running from the porch, up the hill toward the alley, disappearing under a tree. It was then I saw his face and the leash wrapped tightly around a small stump of a tree. He was stuck, probably panicked during the thunder and lightning, running in circles until he couldn't move. He saw me but didn't bark. I took a look at him and decided he was too unpredictable to help. His owners will come unwrap him soon.

Wait... no they won't. They're terrible!

I stared at him for a few seconds, closed the umbrella, and inched down the hill toward him. I talked to him in my sweet animal voice while I put the umbrella near his face. He nipped at it but didn't growl. I kept talking to him and began pulling at the leash to untangle it from the trunk. He sat there calmly and didn't even move after I had freed him. I was soaking wet at this point.

As I walked away and ironically said "Be free," he began bounding around. He pushed through the low branches of the tree toward me, wagging his tail. I patted his disgusting head and scratched his matted behind with the umbrella. I pushed his hair back from his eyes with the hope that he'll remember me the next time I see him. I cried a little, too, because that's just what I do.

We said our goodbyes and as I walked home, I thought about being his secret friend. I'd come to the alley at night and cut his hair and give him snacks**. Maybe at night I could free him from his leash and we could walk around the neighborhood together.

I could be his Boo and he could be my Scout. Or would it be the other way around? Or maybe that makes no sense, but what I mean is that we'd have a great amount of affection for one another.

* Who or whom?
**That was for you, Audrey.
"animal", "sad"B Comments
Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I've got one thing I got to do
It's that time again, time for a rambling list post. I've had a lot on my mind these days but can't seem to find the time to sort it all out. I'm a big List Maker, so it will be good to start there with these thoughts. The question is, what will happen after that? I'm also a big List Loser, meaning I make lists and lose them or never look at them again, which in turn makes me a loser as I don't get much done. Anyway, here goes.

1. I need to write out a business plan or something of the sort for With Bear Hands/my studio practice. My friend Robert sent me this link and this link to help me with such a task, but it's not going to happen unless I make time for it. It's too pretty outside for this sort of thing.

2. I've been working harder these days, but not long enough, and without much focus or intention. Part of the reason for the business plan writing is to figure out what I need to accomplish in a day, a week, a month. What should each day look like? How many hours should I devote to making art or to sitting on my computer? I probably need to accept the fact that I should be working a couple of nights a week for a while. But I've been distracted. By what?
  • It's pretty outside and the air is perfection. I want to ride my bike everywhere. I want to grab a drink downtown after work everyday, I want to go on walks and read books in the sun. Before it's too late. Before I'm cursing the sun and summertime sweat fest begins.
  • The Hunger Games- I actually left my studio early the other day to finish the first book. It's my first try at a trendy book series. I thought I'd be above it, but no. Nope. Liked it. Liked it a lot.
  • A boy- Spending time with another human being on a level loftier than friendship is one of my most favorite pastimes (who wouldn't agree?). At the same time, it's one of my biggest fears because, for whatever reason, I have the tendency to let this activity turn me into a cat. I become a poster child for leisure, casting all my responsibilities to the wind. My productivity is replaced with gazing into that person's eyes. It's sooo romantic. It's also unsustainable. Got to find the balance.
3. How do I get my redneck neighbors to quit revving their engines at 6:45am every morning? I lie in bed and imagine launching smooth white eggs from my window...

4. The Salvage Show is coming up- April 6. It is going to be in an unfinished building on Market Square. At the moment the space doesn't have functioning lights, so I have this stress looming over me. I have to figure out a solution quickly. 



19 artists and designers, work made from architectural salvage. Please, please come.

5. My piece for show is one made from salvaged wood. I've been sanding  pieces of wainscoting that have paint on them. I wonder how you know if you have lead poisoning? I wonder how many years I've taken off my life?

No more sanding lead paint after this project. It's riddling me with fear.


6. I've begun listing these prints on my Etsy shop. Won't you consider buying one?


7. So this is weird to talk about, but I've been on a little dieting/ exercise kick for the past few months. I guess it's not so much a kick as a necessary lifestyle change, but I hardly know myself anymore. I am a counter of calories because the simple truth I have learned is that losing weight is merely an ongoing math problem.

I shed some pounds doing yoga and going swimming at the YWCA during the winter months, but unfortunately, now that it's warmer, I've been far lazier and the shedding has stopped as my muscles become weak and sad. I want to be outside but I don't want to be doing much while I'm there.

It's been a battle, especially as I realize a couple of beers every now and then means starving myself during part of the day. I'm not saying this is good to do, but I'm just saying I'm working on a mental transformation, on discipline, and I don't know myself anymore.

8. The blog- should it be personal? Should it be solely about art? Do I give it more attention? Do I let it remain what it is? Any thoughts? I don't know half the time.
B Comments
Website Update
Everything I made in 2011 (except for the 70+ mason jar paintings and the 50+ dilapidated building prints) is up on my website. Please check it out here.

If you are ever interested in purchasing a painting, my original work is always for sale. I also have the ability to make prints for a more affordable option.

Also, you can contact me through my blog (or just email beth@bethmeadows.com) if you ever have questions, comments, or just want to send me some good vibes. I am always appreciative.

Thanks for your support- verbal, written, and monetary!
Write On
I've been buying No. 2 pencils and pretty stationery lately. I've written a few letters, but it's a difficult habit to form. I want to write more.

4th Year Studio

Some Lovely Things





I'm making a functional piece for the Salvage Show that is about letter writing, so today I've been collecting quotes about the fading art.

Here are some of my favorites.

Sir, more than kisses, letters mingle souls; for, thus friends absent speak. John Donne

A letter is a blessing, a great and all-too-rare privilege that can turn a private moment into an exalted experience. Alexandra Stoddard

A letter always seemed to me like immortality because it is the mind alone without corporeal friend. Emily Dickinson

Letters are like wine; if they are sound they ripen with keeping. A man should lay down letters as he does a cellar of wine. Samuel Butler

A person who can write a long letter with ease, cannot write ill. Jane Austen

Poets don’t draw. They unravel their handwriting and then tie it up again, but differently. Jean Cocteau

A Letter is a Joy of Earth- It is denied the Gods. Emily Dickinson